online banking...

I've had an account with First Direct for a couple of years and I've been pretty pleased with how they've operated. Their telephone and online services have been superb, and setting up money transfers really easy.
However... They've just instigated a new online security procedure. This involves no fewer than four different passwords or questions! Unfortunately I couldn't seem to log in this morning - I must have gotten one of the answers wrong. Luckily their is a re-set feature - just enter four new passwords / answers and then phone up to activate. A doddle you would think.
So, I call up and now have to to go through the phone security procedures. I initially got the password wrong here too - either by remembering the incorrect password or telling them the wrong response to 'letters 3, 5 and 9 of your phone password'.
Their new security procedures means you only get one crack at it! So, I was transferred over to 'The idiots forgotten his password' department to be faced with another barrage of questions. After confirming name, address, date of birth etc, they then wanted to phone me back on my home phone line. This would all be fine if I'd updated my home line to my new London address... So, I've failed to log in online, I've failed the phone password and now I am at a different address to the one they have on the system! The guy on the end of the line, unsurprisingly, was getting more and more suspicious of me by the minute. Fortunately they employ a certain degree of joined up thinking at FD and could confirm my new address and phone number using the BT phone directory (good thing I'm not ex directory).
Once he'd phoned back we could then get onto the business of confirming my other 4 phone security questions. Oddly enough, I remembered these without any problems, however I had to re-set my phone password to another 'memorable' phrase.
In total I now have 9 security details to remember for getting access to my First Direct bank account... When I off-handedly remarked that I'd better write it all down the chap on the phone told me that FD don't recommend that users write down their security details!!! I pointed out that one needs to remember 9 separate and distinctly different pieces of information in order to identify yourself and that perhaps they'd taken security just a little bit too far! I don't think I was the first person to make that comment as he agreed heartily and said he'd add it to the rest of his feedback pile.

So, finally I could log on, except that the website was down...
The collective noun for bankers - a Wunch?